Saturday, May 3, 2008

urgency...




i don't know what's been going on with me lately but i've been feeling this strange sense of urgency. about what? do you really want to know? there is a side of me that most people see. the easy-going side, the funny side, the tired side, the sweet side, the procrastinator side. the short side. okay, everyone sees that side. but then there is a side of me that only a few people see. i don't know that i would consider it my "dark" side but definitely a deeper side. it is the over-thinking, over-worrying, over-stressing side.

and this urgency that i've been feeling, i question whether it is promptings from the Spirit, or just my crazy, tucked down, kept-in-the-vault side of me that is pushing to the surface.

let me explain.

for the past several months, pre-rice & wheat shortage (or knowledge of it anyway), i have felt the urgency to really get this food storage thing set up. i know i know, for YEARS we have been told by the general authorities to get our year's supply. and for most of those years i can come up with a valid excuse as to why i put it off. that doesn't make it right i know. but lately whenever it's brought up in church or by a family member, i feel this little ...tug, for lack of a better word. just this thought that goes through my mind "we REALLY need to get going on that." and the thought never leaves, it just sits in the back of my mind & comes out every now & then.

there have also been a couple of people close to me...and ones i consider very spiritually "in tune" people...who have talked to me about dreams they have had & the urgency they felt to get food storage in order. it impressed them enough to want to share it with me.

i watched "the kite runner" tonight, a beautiful & sad movie about a man who is trying to find redemption for past mistakes. the book is better (of course) but also more graphic when it comes to a couple of very difficult scenes. after the movie, i walked upstairs to take a shower & instead of thinking about the true moral of the movie, i started to think about the history of afghanistan. in the movie it spans over around a 20 year time frame & in that time the country is turned upside down. and that is what i started thinking, as i stared at my face in the mirror. all of these questions entered my mind.

will there come a day when i can't remember the last time i looked in the mirror because i no longer owned one?

will there come a day when i don't even care that i don't own a mirror because the last thing i care about is how i look?

as i was in the shower, i watched the hot water stream down and thought,

will there come a time when i can't remember the last time i took a shower?

will i ever feel regret for being so wasteful with my water supply?

as i peek in on my beautiful little boy sleeping safely in his bed my mind really takes off & the questions start to make me feel completely unsettled.

will there come a day when i cannot feed my crying, starving child?

there are a few movies that have touched me deeply. i can remember a couple of them right now. hotel rwanda & schindler's list. i remember watching schindler's list on t.v. & feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces as the ending came & this man, who had sacrificed so much to save so many, pulled out a pen from his coat & sobbed as he asked out loud how many more people he could have saved with it.

will there come a day for me, when i look at how much money i have spent on worldly, unnecessary things & wish for those days again so i could have made better choices? you think of 20 years passing & our country being turned upside down. i would be 47 & my little boy would be 22.

there are books that stay with me. "the hiding place" comes to my mind. again i am terrified at just how quickly the schemes of one evil & deranged man can affect so many in such a short period. the holocaust is a frightening & horrific time to just try to comprehend, i can't even begin to imagine what it was like to actually experience.

we read these books & watch these movies & hope that history will not...cannot, repeat itself. but we know deep down that it can. because it has so many times. it happens more times than i can count in the book of mormon, in the bible.

we are promised that if we are prepared then we shall not fear. and so that is what we will do. prepare. ben & i are planning on taking that check from the government that we are supposed to get & put it into food storage. it's intimidating to think of how much it will cost, how much space it will take up, how big of a project it will be, how it will probably be a huge pain to move. but i'm hoping that when it is done, that little voice in my head that keeps whispering urgently to me will be at peace.

if any of you who are reading feel this is something you need to get going on too, here is the link to "provident living" where you can order & have it shipped directly to your home. what is easier than that?? there is a starter kit with recipes and everything for $25.95.

and to leave this with some hope instead of just fear & worry, here are some passages from President Hinckley's talk, "If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear"

"Man’s inhumanity to man expressed in past and present conflict has and continues to bring unspeakable suffering."

What we have experienced in the past was all foretold, and the end is not yet. Just as there have been calamities in the past, we expect more in the future. What do we do?

Someone has said it was not raining when Noah built the ark. But he built it, and the rains came.

The Lord has said, “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30).
We have built grain storage and storehouses and stocked them with the necessities of life in the event of a disaster. But the best storehouse is the family storeroom. In words of revelation the Lord has said, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing” (D&C 109:8).

Our people for three-quarters of a century have been counseled and encouraged to make such preparation as will assure survival should a calamity come.

We can set aside some water, basic food, medicine, and clothing to keep us warm. We ought to have a little money laid aside in case of a rainy day.

Now what I have said should not occasion a run on the grocery store or anything of that kind. I am saying nothing that has not been said for a very long time.

I have faith, my dear brethren, that the Lord will bless us, and watch over us, and assist us if we walk in obedience to His light, His gospel, and His commandments. He is our Father and our God, and we are His children, and we must be in every way deserving of His love and concern. That we may do so is my humble prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

9 comments:

Rachel Chick said...

I find it so amazing that so many people I know have felt these same feelings - and I have as well. I know there are storms ahead and the Lord is preparing us! We need to do our best - our very best - and He'll take care of us. Thank you so much for this post! It was a good catalyst for discussion in our family today and taking measures that we need to to be prepared as well! Good luck with the hoarding! Love you guys! Thank you for the spirit that you bring into my life, Lyns! I really do appreciate it!

Debbie said...

Lindsey, I have had the same "tug" for the last year and have made steps little by little and accomplished a lot.

My husband and I just decided to take our next bonus check too and spend a lot of it beefing up our food storage. Isn't the spirit neat - sending the same message to everyone - giving us a chance to prepare. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I love your new blog.

Toby and Tammy said...

I agree with my Mom and Rachel--I too have had those feelings of "you've got to get stuff in order." It's scary to think that we've been counseled FOREVER and I am just NOW starting to take heed and do something about it.
Love your new blog. You say things so perfectly! Glad that you are willing to share your thoughts with us. Thanks!

sarahbellac said...

Okay so I just REALLY LOVE THIS BLOG, girlfriend! Felt chills as I read it. Our stake presidency just recently counseled us to start our own gardens...and work on food storage. We are working on it too. Funny how these conversations pop up in random places. Here in KC, the LDS are famous for their food storage. I was standing at the NICU rescusitation table waiting for a newly c-sectioned baby to come out of its mama. I'm in charge of the resuscitation, so I want to be prepared. I look for the laryngoscope blade to check the light...not there. Look for the oxygen bag-valve-mask...not there. "Where's the stuff?" The RN says "Oh this baby'll be fine...I'm keeping the stuff clean...it's right over there in the code cart if I need it." I take a minute. I tell myself I'm being paranoid. Finally I say, "It's just that I've never had it where the stuff wasn't all there, ready to go..." The RN finally says "Fine...here you go." The baby was fine. Now I've gained a reputation...'superstitious!' The next RN says 'I'll appease you since you're superstitious.' I laugh and say I want to 'ward off badness.' He said 'whatever works.' Then this whole long discussion ensues about "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" and they ask about the LDS church and food storage and being prepared for disaster. It was a very nice convo - and the baby was ok. See...we are warding off badness! I just love that saying, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." I told my coworkers to make good friends with a Mormon, cuz you never know when you're gonna want to share their food storage. They got a kick out of that!
PS - sorry about the excessively long comment!!!

The Foster Bunch said...

Love this, I am glad to know there are other's out there like me who feel that same sense of worry. I sometimes think I am just, can't have enough it seems. I do have a little helpful thing. I have found a great store, that has a ton of food storage or family emergency items. It is called the Ready Store. They have a website, and it is great. The website is www.thereadystore.com. They have a lot of different items and I don't feel like they are bad priced at all. Anyways we are just gettting ready to put in an order, and I am hopefully going to get our ward involved with it to. This was just a little helpful place I found. Let me know what you think.

Me said...

I got chills reading this post too, because apparently I am NOT the only one who has felt that "tug" too, I have felt so strongly for so long WE NEED FOOD STORAGE, not even for ME but for my kids. and WHAT HAVE I DONE? Nothing, I just need to make up my mind and DO IT and say THIS is how much I'm going to spend on food storage. I definitely think the Lord is trying to prepare us. I don't want to be one of those people that regrets not following these obvious promptings. I'm getting freaked out just thinking about it so I better do something!

Tyra Baird said...

Long time no see straders! This is the bairds. Hope you remember us! Anyhow. I love your blog. You're not crazy, we've been feeling it too. In fact, we border line obbsessed. But its a good thing. We'll have to invite you to our blog. We'll talk to you later.
love the bairds, brigham, tyra, lliam, nedra and etta (yes we have 3)

Anonymous said...

I cried when I read this. I'm not even sure why. Wait - that's not true. You are such an spiritual uplift to me and this post has single-handedly rearranged my priorities. Thank you.

Mindy and Garry said...

So Lynsey, I just found this blog...yes I was looking through your links. I think this blog is such a cool idea. You know...Garry had that same "tug" about food storage about 2 months ago. Since I was not able to go grocery shopping or anything not much as been done. My mom bought a whole bunch of flour for us and that is about it. My dad has been going food storage crazy the last 2motnhs also. Good luck with everything!