We moved here from NC where we managed a group home for troubled teenagers for one year. It was a very difficult but very rewarding job and it is easy to say that we are grateful it's over. We are now here for the next 4-5 years while Ben is in school for his doctorate in Psychology.
I was asked to speak on President Monson's talk from this past conference titled "Finding Joy in the Journey." I love this talk because it is about being happy in the present and searching for true joy in our every day lives.
President Monson begins the talk with saying, "Nothing is as constant as change." I thought about how sometimes change can be extremely difficult...such as a death in the family. There are also times that change can be extremely easy...such as moving out of a contentious group home in NC to a peaceful apartment in AZ. Ben and I talked about all of the changes we have been through since we have been married. Here is a list of a few of our changes in less than 6 years:
- We've moved 7 times
- Lived in 4 different states
- Owned 5 different cars
- Worked 10 different jobs...between the two of us
- Attended 3 separate universities, between the two of us
- Last year, we went through having 8 children (5 at a time). Only one of them was our natural-born child.
"This is our one and only chance at mortal life-here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do.
Instead, find joy in the journey-now."
I know for me, last year was extremely difficult. There were SO many times that I had to look to the future in order to make it through the present situation of taking care of teenagers who had the ability to cause the spirit to leave our home just by walking through the door. And there may be times that we do look to the future in order to cope with the present or the past.
But President Monson again helped me to gain a better perspective by saying,
I realize now that I will never have that year of my life back. I could write a list a mile long of the unpleasant memories from last year, but instead I thought I should talk about a specific experience where I felt true joy even in a difficult situation.
For almost 8 months, we had a 10 year old female client in the group home. You can imagine that being placed out of your home at 10 years old meant you had some severe behavioral challenges. I think because I was the female head of the home, I got the brunt of her outbursts and verbal and emotional attacks. The kids were never forced to go to church but they often accompanied us. This young girl had little experience with religion before coming into our home.
One Sunday during fast & testimony meeting, she told me she wanted to bear her testimony and asked if I would walk up to the podium with her. I agreed and could not believe my ears when she stood up in front of our ward and bore her testimony of Jesus Christ and said how grateful she was to be in our home. My heart melted toward her as I realized that I had spent a lot of time being frustrated with her actions and not enough time trying to look for the positive characteristics I knew she possessed.
I wonder, if my attitude had been better while we lived with those kids, would I have fonder memories of our time there? I already know the answer is yes. Now that I have completed and survived last year, what can I learn from that experience? How can I make my time here in the present, joyful even throughout my trials?
President Monson says, "What is most important almost always involves the people around us."
I began to think about what is most important to me.
The past couple of months since I have been in Arizona, I have focused my energies on enjoying this time with my little, growing family. There has been such a peace and love in our home and I know that with each day that is gone, it is no longer a day in our present, but a day in our past. During my nightly prayers I often ask myself, "How did I spend my day? How many times did I say to Caleb, "just a minute?" Did I tell both Ben & Caleb how much I love them?"
Another quote from President Monson's talk says:
"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will-to your surprise-miss them profoundly."
"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved....Let us share our love with our friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."
So what if right now, we are in the middle of trials? How do we find joy in that journey, when things seem bleak and feel hopeless?
President Monson offers the best advice:
Yes there may be times when that is easier said than done. But even through our darkest hour, we can find something to be grateful for. If our health is suffering, maybe we have insurance to cover the costs of our medical bills. When there is a sudden death of a loved one, maybe we are surrounded by friends and family members in our time of need. Maybe we have a car that has just completely fallen apart and don't know how we will afford to pay for the expense of it getting fixed, but maybe we come home to a loving family and children who are happy to see us.
There are always blessings surrounding us, even when we are facing times that are difficult, we just need to do our best to focus on those.
In his talk, President Monson gave an amazing example of someone who showed gratitude throughout her trials. Her name was Borghild Dahl.
"She was born in in Minnesota in 1890 of Norwegian parents and fromher early years suffered severly impaired vision. She had a tremendous desire to participate in everyday life despite her handicap and, through sheer determination, succeed in nearly everything she undertook. Against the advice of educators, who felt her handicap was too great, she attended college, receiving her bachelor of arts degree from the University of Minnesota. She later studied at Columbia University and the University of Oslo. She eventually became the principal of eight schools in western Minnesota and North Dakota.
She wrote that she had only one eye, and it was so covered with dense scars that she had to do all of her seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. She could see a book by holding it up close to her face and by straining her one eye as hard as she could to the left.
Miraculously, in 1943-when she was over 50 years old-a revolutionary procedure was developed which finally restored to her much of the sight she had been without for so long. A new and exciting world opened up before her. She took great pleasure in the small things most of us take for granted, such as watching a bird in flight, noticing the light reflected in the bubbles of her dishwater, or observing the phases of the moon each night.
Borghild Dahl, both before and after her sight was restored, was filled with gratitude for her blessings.
In 1982, two years before she died, at the age of 92 her last book was published. Its title: "Happy All My Life." Her attitude of thankfulness enabled her to appreciate her blessings and to live a full and rich life despite her challenges."
President Monson says:
"If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues."
The greatest example of showing gratitude in the midst of trials would be jesus Christ. In his short life he suffered repeated physical, emotional and mental trials. Yet throughout it all he kept an eternal perspective and continually showed gratitude to Heavenly Father.
In fact, the night before he was to be crucified, he gave these words of comfort to his apostles:
John 16:
20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your asorrow shall be turned into bjoy.
President Gordon B. Hinckley related one of my favorite quotes by Jenkins Lloyd Jones:
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey . . . delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." [Jenkins Lloyd Jones]
President Monson ends his talk with his testimony of Christ and then says:
"Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days-as much as we can-with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and deed."
I want to express my gratitude for all of my blessings. To have a wonderful and loving marriage, and a healthy son. I’m grateful to have a peaceful home. I’m grateful for my extended family and friends. I’m grateful for the trials that I am given to teach me humility and empathy for others. I am mostly grateful for my testimony of this gospel, to know without a doubt that it is the truth. I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ and a loving Father in Heaven who is mindful of all of my needs. I pray that we will all be able to find joy in each of our journeys. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Instead, find joy in the journey-now."
I know for me, last year was extremely difficult. There were SO many times that I had to look to the future in order to make it through the present situation of taking care of teenagers who had the ability to cause the spirit to leave our home just by walking through the door. And there may be times that we do look to the future in order to cope with the present or the past.
But President Monson again helped me to gain a better perspective by saying,
"...there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future."
I realize now that I will never have that year of my life back. I could write a list a mile long of the unpleasant memories from last year, but instead I thought I should talk about a specific experience where I felt true joy even in a difficult situation.
For almost 8 months, we had a 10 year old female client in the group home. You can imagine that being placed out of your home at 10 years old meant you had some severe behavioral challenges. I think because I was the female head of the home, I got the brunt of her outbursts and verbal and emotional attacks. The kids were never forced to go to church but they often accompanied us. This young girl had little experience with religion before coming into our home.
One Sunday during fast & testimony meeting, she told me she wanted to bear her testimony and asked if I would walk up to the podium with her. I agreed and could not believe my ears when she stood up in front of our ward and bore her testimony of Jesus Christ and said how grateful she was to be in our home. My heart melted toward her as I realized that I had spent a lot of time being frustrated with her actions and not enough time trying to look for the positive characteristics I knew she possessed.
I wonder, if my attitude had been better while we lived with those kids, would I have fonder memories of our time there? I already know the answer is yes. Now that I have completed and survived last year, what can I learn from that experience? How can I make my time here in the present, joyful even throughout my trials?
President Monson says, "What is most important almost always involves the people around us."
I began to think about what is most important to me.
The past couple of months since I have been in Arizona, I have focused my energies on enjoying this time with my little, growing family. There has been such a peace and love in our home and I know that with each day that is gone, it is no longer a day in our present, but a day in our past. During my nightly prayers I often ask myself, "How did I spend my day? How many times did I say to Caleb, "just a minute?" Did I tell both Ben & Caleb how much I love them?"
Another quote from President Monson's talk says:
"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will-to your surprise-miss them profoundly."
"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved....Let us share our love with our friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."
So what if right now, we are in the middle of trials? How do we find joy in that journey, when things seem bleak and feel hopeless?
President Monson offers the best advice:
Express gratitude for our blessings.
Yes there may be times when that is easier said than done. But even through our darkest hour, we can find something to be grateful for. If our health is suffering, maybe we have insurance to cover the costs of our medical bills. When there is a sudden death of a loved one, maybe we are surrounded by friends and family members in our time of need. Maybe we have a car that has just completely fallen apart and don't know how we will afford to pay for the expense of it getting fixed, but maybe we come home to a loving family and children who are happy to see us.
There are always blessings surrounding us, even when we are facing times that are difficult, we just need to do our best to focus on those.
In his talk, President Monson gave an amazing example of someone who showed gratitude throughout her trials. Her name was Borghild Dahl.
"She was born in in Minnesota in 1890 of Norwegian parents and fromher early years suffered severly impaired vision. She had a tremendous desire to participate in everyday life despite her handicap and, through sheer determination, succeed in nearly everything she undertook. Against the advice of educators, who felt her handicap was too great, she attended college, receiving her bachelor of arts degree from the University of Minnesota. She later studied at Columbia University and the University of Oslo. She eventually became the principal of eight schools in western Minnesota and North Dakota.
She wrote that she had only one eye, and it was so covered with dense scars that she had to do all of her seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. She could see a book by holding it up close to her face and by straining her one eye as hard as she could to the left.
Miraculously, in 1943-when she was over 50 years old-a revolutionary procedure was developed which finally restored to her much of the sight she had been without for so long. A new and exciting world opened up before her. She took great pleasure in the small things most of us take for granted, such as watching a bird in flight, noticing the light reflected in the bubbles of her dishwater, or observing the phases of the moon each night.
Borghild Dahl, both before and after her sight was restored, was filled with gratitude for her blessings.
In 1982, two years before she died, at the age of 92 her last book was published. Its title: "Happy All My Life." Her attitude of thankfulness enabled her to appreciate her blessings and to live a full and rich life despite her challenges."
President Monson says:
"If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues."
The greatest example of showing gratitude in the midst of trials would be jesus Christ. In his short life he suffered repeated physical, emotional and mental trials. Yet throughout it all he kept an eternal perspective and continually showed gratitude to Heavenly Father.
In fact, the night before he was to be crucified, he gave these words of comfort to his apostles:
John 16:
20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your asorrow shall be turned into bjoy.
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey . . . delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." [Jenkins Lloyd Jones]
President Monson ends his talk with his testimony of Christ and then says:
"Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days-as much as we can-with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and deed."
I want to express my gratitude for all of my blessings. To have a wonderful and loving marriage, and a healthy son. I’m grateful to have a peaceful home. I’m grateful for my extended family and friends. I’m grateful for the trials that I am given to teach me humility and empathy for others. I am mostly grateful for my testimony of this gospel, to know without a doubt that it is the truth. I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ and a loving Father in Heaven who is mindful of all of my needs. I pray that we will all be able to find joy in each of our journeys. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
